#like my save files. being unable to revisit certain games. hell even fe becoming one of my main interests | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moe-broey · 6 months ago

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I <3 blowing up my save files mid-playthrough or after I've beaten the game and feel aimless or I'm three hours in and incredibly indecisive and perfectionistic and have to start over Better this time or I just get really into One Idea and blow up the save for the sole purpose of achieving the One Idea and once I have it's like. Well. What was the point of that actually. And then I blow it up again

#IDK IDK I FEEL LIKE I'M CURSED.........#i swear to god it all started when i realized i'm transgender. experience that changed me forever #OBVIOUSLY. IN POSITIVE WAYS.#but also i just feel like i'm constantly starting over. i used to have master files.#it was actually such an emotionally fucked up experience i used to write my deadname on the back of my 3ds carts #i used to be ambivalent to my deadname until i felt like i had to prove it to myself. and in doingvthat #i did come to appreciate it and it did feel associated w me. or at least what i was meant to embody.#i was always trying to Prove It. to myself. that if i can Prove It i can make this work and get all i've ever wanted #like love. ect ect #in ways i won't elaborate on my name now does honor my deadname. without really being reflective of it at all #which is exactly what i needed esp at that time in my life. it was SUCH a sudden upheaval.#like all of this i've been burying and stomping out for so many years like. once i finally just allowed myself to question.#and be at peace w it. it just all spilled out full force and like. i think i still experience side effects from it LMFAOOOO #like my save files. being unable to revisit certain games. hell even fe becoming one of my main interests #was a direct side effect of me needing a game where i could be myself and not have any prev memories attached #also just. the fucking type of person i am. guy who loves to leave and start over all the fucking time #but also also like. i think it's just the perfectionism sometimes. like eo2 i'm trying to get my party/lore Just Right #so i can fully immerse myself in it and NOT feel bad. for making any amount of changes to my party 😭#I'M SUCH A SENTIMENTAL BITCH. WHO CAN'T HOLD ONTO ANYTHING. WHO REFUSES TO LET GO. WHAT‼️‼️‼️#and w miitopia it's just. i need to update the artwork here it's insane. i gotta fix this. no one is allowed to see this.#anyways. starting over in miitopia and fixing it. i don't even know what my party is gonna be tbh #i usually plan this shit out but again. deep deep DEEPLY rooted Need to just blow everything up forever.

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